Monday, October 29, 2012

Milestones...

So I hit a milestone this past weekend....I saw the ex for the first time in almost THREE MONTHS!

It was Penn's homecoming, so a lot of my friends were gathering from around the country for a weekend of celebration and debauchery. I knew it was inevitable that I would run into the ex....as I've said PLENTY of times before, we have many of the same friends.

Instead of going through the whole story, I'm going to give you a list of "do"s and "don't"s for seeing your ex for the first time. I will not specify why I've come up with these things, but you can figure it out...

1. DO look AMAZE.


2. DO sip on some liquid courage. Sorry, but it does make things easier....


3. DON'T get too drunk and ask him about his masturbation habits......yeah......seriously....

4. DO tell him how great you're doing.

5. DON'T insult him.


6. DON'T try to go home with him. I PROMISE I DIDN'T DO THIS! Just thought it was probably worth mentioning.

7. And finally.... DO depend on your friends. Shout out to my girl A. Norb for sticking by me. This is what friendship looks like...I leave you with this gem.



And...NO...I'm not glaring at him. I really don't know what I'm glaring at, but it was not him.






Friday, October 19, 2012

Why stay?

So this is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Why do people stay in relationships even if they don't think that it's going to last forever?

I've compiled a top 4 list...

1. Comfort. If you've been in a relationship for years or even months, you're definitely comfortable there. Chances are you've settled into a smooth routine. You have someone to complain to and someone waiting for you when you come home. Though comfort in a relationship is a tempting reason to stay in it, it's not worth it in the end. You're probably in desperate need of change and growth, and no one changes when she's comfortable.

2. Fear of hurt. I used to say to my ex all the time, "You shouldn't avoid a relationship just because you're afraid that it will end." I was...mostly right. The fact is that for most people, 99% of their relationships end. Ideally, all but one of your relationships will end. Some will end in tears, some will end in screams, and some might end with a handshake (who the hell does that?!), but the point is that most relationships fail. In the beginning, that fear should not stop you from trying it out. Every relationship offers room for growth and maturing. But if you're STAYING in the relationship for fear of the end, then it's time to end it.

3. Sex. Not that all couples have sex, but if you do....you don't really want to give that up. It's nice to not have to actively pursue a partner every Friday at some grimy bar with disgusting men hitting on you and then you end up drinking too much and then you have beer goggles and then....well you know the rest. But it goes without saying that sex is not the be all, end all. It's definitely not something that should keep you in a bad relationship. There's always this option! Bedroom Kandi

4. Friendship. Most people in good relationships would describe their boyfriends/girlfriends as their "best friend." And it makes sense. If you're spending most of your time with that person then you're probably telling them everything about your life. They know more about you then most other people. And it's scary to think that, if and when you break up, that person still holds all of that information and all of that responsibility. But the reality is that there are most likely other people in your life that will be there for you in your time of need. Rely on your other friends, and you'll be surprised how supportive they can be.

There are other reasons for avoiding break-ups like...money, children, etc....but I have no experience with that shizz, and I'm not going to pretend like I do...

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Sex Dreams about your EX?!?!?!

Have you or are you currently having sex dreams about your ex? Well, here's what it means!

According to Ian Wallace, a dream psychologist and author of The Top 100 Dreams: The Dreams That We All Have and What They Really Mean, a sex dream about your ex is normal, but something that warrants your attention.

"Your ex. You thought you were finally over him, and suddenly he’s back in your dreams — naked. Why must our minds torture us so? According to Wallace, if you’re dreaming about an ex-lover, it could mean that you’re unknowingly repeating bad habits from your failed relationship. Consider this type of sex dream a red flag."

BTW....totally not speaking from experience.


Monday, October 15, 2012

56 Days

56 Days. That is how long it's been. My original goal for the he-tox was to last 30 days. I AM SO FREAKING PROUD OF MYSELF!!!!

But today I decided it was time to reach out to the ex, check in ya know?

Now remember...we were friends for a while before we started dating, and we share MANY good friends. Friendship was definitely the end goal.

And I think that just might be possible...

Friday, October 12, 2012

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Attack of the GING!!!

For those of you who don't know me personally, I have been a [fake] blonde for about 3 years now. I always felt like I was born to be a blonde. But I did something crazy...

I WENT GINGER!!!!

I cannot believe it...it still feels like a wig to me.

So I bet a lot of people are thinking, "oh she totally wanted to dye her hair to make a statement after the break up..."

Well guess what...

I fucking did. Do you have a problem with that?

Okay now that that's off my chest...sometimes you need to change yourself on the outside when you feel like you changed on the inside. And I finally feel the change. So deal with my red hair!